On finishing Job and Ecclesiastes: Real faith

What a pair of books!
Job tells us that, ultimately, there's no comprehendable answer for the suffering in the world. It asks the question: 'God, why do bad things happen to good people?' and essentially gets the answer: 'Because I am God and you can't hope to understand.'
Ecclesiastes meanwhile tells us that life, in itself, is empty and pointless. A book which tells us that all we can do on this earth, all the friendships we can forge, all the riches we can obtain, even the highest human achievements of kindness and being recognised as good are useless.
Uplifting... right?

I'm going to try and put into words, drawing from my meditations and thoughts on both these books over the past few weeks, exactly why I feel more joyful because of them but it's going to be a struggle because it seems paradoxical and confusing even to me!

I think that sometimes, as Christians, we can see life with God as making sense. It sort of all fits, doesn't it? It all comes together. I have moments of just perfect clarity where I feel like I can see eternity and it's all alright! Do you have them too? But more often than not, life, even with God at our side, is confusing and disturbing. I also have times of just absolute nihilism. I see something and it is just so foreign to my view of the world and my expectations of God that it shakes me to my core, sometimes makes me doubt my own sense of who he is.

My only conclusion is that life with God doesn't make sense. It makes more sense than life without him, that's for sure, but it's still a long way off being total and Job and Ecclesiastes, as books, show us the brick wall of human understanding. Read Job, read God's response to him and ask yourself if you're satisfied with it? I certainly wasn't on a first reading. Surely there must be something missing?! But no, that's it.
Ecclesiastes tells me to enjoy life with God but that a great deal is 'emptiness' or 'vanity'. That means something that we totally fail to comprehend the point or purpose of. A thin facade thrown over chaos.

The first time I really read the truth of God's sovereignty, his complete involvement not just in the world but in my life, my thoughts, my decisions - his sovereign guidance and manipulation of these things - I freaked out a bit, I must say. My mind just screamed in opposition to it and yet, there it was, clearly laid out in the bible; God hardening and softening hearts, God pre-ordaining the decisions of people. It made me feel violated, to be honest.

I prayed about it, long and hard and the more and more I thought about it, the less and less I really THOUGHT about it. It was a truth like a white-hot shard of metal falling into a basin of ice-water. When it first struck the surface of my understanding, it fizzed and hissed, it let off steam and spat but then, after that explosive first encounter, it just cooled and sank to the bottom. I didn't understand it, I went one better and I accepted it. I still can't understand but it's part of my life, part of my thoughts about God and about everything. It underlies my vision of it all, that unfathomable truth.

The same is true for the questions raised by Job and Ecclesiastes. There are no answers here but the books tell us to be satisfied with that. Job is gets a tiny bit of an answer as to why he is suffering from Elihu who tells him it could be training and discipline from God but God gives him the full answer. 'I am God.'

What's our reaction when we reach that brick wall, when we slam our heads into it and look up and just see those words on it? 'I AM GOD'. His very name 'I AM' is the only answer we should ever need.

It's terrifying but it's exhilirating. When I face truths like this I feel like I'm bungee-jumping. My soul at once recoils in protest and, in the same moment, soars in ectasy. I encourage you to take those jumps and those leaps. Go bungee-jumping. Don't shy away because it's hard or because you only want to know about God what you can take in. If you limit yourself to that, you won't understand just how fantastic and wonderful he is.

My prayer for every Christian is that they would take that thin veil of their understanding off God and have their minds blown open by him. When you reach that brick wall, look up in wonder and whisper through the confusion, the frustration, through the pain and suffering, through tears, 'He is God.'
That is real faith and there you will find fullness of peace and abundant joy - free-falling with God.

One day I know I'll get it. When I see him face to face, I will have no questions. I will be completely satisfied. I will look back on every circumstance and every moment and understand. But you can grasp this today through submitting to him in your understanding.

God does not make sense... and it's beautiful.